You've Lost Your Edge

I recently saw a friend that I have not seen in over two years. Much can change in two people over two years. Individually we feel as though nothing is out of the norm, why would we? We live with ourselves everyday. But sometimes reuniting can introduce us to changes we were previously unaware of. Now, I know I am a completely different person. You don't go through what I have gone through and not change. But he pointed out a crucial aspect of me that he noticed had changed. He told me that I had lost my edgy self. Hmm... see when we had met I was a rather outspoken, opinionated person. I didn't care much about what others thought, I did my own thing. In my mind, I was still that person so I blamed my more reserved, compliant nature on my presence in a foreign country. Then I got to thinking...he was right! For the last year I have been so caught up in my personal endeavors that I have lost touch with that girl. I've been in survival mode, being agreeable to so much for fear that any opposition would break me in my fragile state. Further thinking showed me that while part of me had become afraid to be edgy, the other part of me realized I simply just don't know what I think anymore. They say nursing school will forever change you, I thought that was bogus. Nearing the end I now see, they were right! Nursing school combined with my recent experience HAS changed me and made me look at life in a different light. I am thankful for my friend being honest and pointing this out to me. I needed to hear it I am still my edgy self, I always will be, but I need to be rekindled to a new edge to fit my new life. I say all this to say that I believe that finding my new edge begins with sharing my story. Let the journey begin!