Friday, May 4, 2012

Reflections from the panel

This past week I had another opportunity to share my story before prospective adoptive parents. What was special about this time was for that for the first time, Liz and I would be sharing our story together. Eric and Grace planned on joining us but Grace came down with pneumonia (poor thing - she is feeling MUCH better now) so Eric stayed at home with her. I was sitting there sharing and listening to Liz's side just thinking about how beautiful this whole dynamic is. Before we even met each other we both had plans for closed adoption. In fact we were each determined that that would be the case. It's amazing how time and circumstance can change the most determined heart. Now we couldn't imagine our relationship being anything other than what it is now. During the panel Liz said she is so grateful that I am in Grace's life because she loves watching Grace's natural habits and seeing the similarities in me and being able to ask me if I did the things Grace is doing. All of which I answer yes to, of course. I have an identical twin, who just so happens to be 26 years my junior. I am grateful for the chance to be in Grace's life and to hear all about her life and milestones. 

Some people may not understand how I have the strength to watch my own child being raised by people who were previously complete strangers to me. To that I say, you had to be in that room last week watching Liz's face light up and hearing the joy in her tone as she doted on her daughter. You have to be there every single time I spend time with them. I have never witnessed more joy and gratefulness in two parents as I have with them. To know that I have given someone else unspeakable joy is enough to erase any sense of pain, regret, or hurt I may feel with giving up my own flesh and blood. They have forever changed my life and blessed me.

Another guy, who was adopted and now in his early 40's, was there to share his story. He didn't get to meet his birth mom until he was 30. He spoke about how much he loved his adoptive family but always longed to meet his birth mom and fill that void in his heart. He searched for many years before he was finally able to find her. During the time he was adopted, all adoptions were closed and the majority of records were sealed and unobtainable. He fought and by age 30 found his birth mom. He showed us a video clip of their first meeting. It was probably the most moving video I have ever seen. He stays in touch with his birth family and has become close to them over the years. Amazing story.   

God gave up his own flesh and blood through Jesus. He didn't do it for himself, he did it for humanity. Abraham was willing to give up his only son. He didn't do it for himself. He did it for God. If he were doing it for himself, he never would've done it. I am by no means comparing myself to God or Abraham. To God I make no comparison. Do not misinterpret this. I am just saying that I believe God wanted Grace here for a reason and that reason was to bless someone else. I did what I believe God wanted me to do in the situation and that leaves me in complete peace, even when that peace is baffling to others.